Boycott Coke? Really? This is the crushing issue facing you people?

I'll try to keep this post from degenerating to bitter and spiteful ad hominem attacks on those I disagree with. Its gonna be tough, but I'm pretty sure I can do it.

Apparently a slightly sappy, slightly touchy, seemingly out of place, yet overall innocuous Coke ad has the racists up in arms.  I'll admit, I love when people get upset about stuff like this because it lets me know who I can pretty much write off their opinion about anything.

The ad, oh the horrible, terrible ad, featured "America the Beautiful" a song sung by Queen Latifa not more than 90 minutes prior to the commercial.  Why the fuss?  Because, HORRORS, the song was sung in many languages, NOT JUST ENGLISH!

Oh no!  Whatever shall we do?  How can we face the fact we're a multi-racial, multi-lingual, extremely diverse country?  I know what we should do, we should take to Twitter and Facebook and blogs like mine nobody reads and react as racist and xenophobic as possible!

"In my 'Murkah we speak English gash darn it!"

Well, frankly America has never been a nation of one language, not should it be now.  Prior to Europeans landing there was a plethora of Native American languages being spoken.  The first European language spoken was Viking (yeah, I have no idea what language they spoke, some old form of Danish?), the second, Spanish.  Then French, THEN English.

Sure, the English crown came to rule the 13 colonies who in a fit of tea party pique decided to rebel and instead of becoming more like Canada allowed us to become the joke we are today, but even then, all sorts of languages were being spoken, daily, across the continent.

Immigrant groups came, and came, and came and somehow America trudged along, getting along with these strange newcomers and their odd accents and culture.  They slowly assimilated, keeping some traditions, sometimes keeping a langauge (rarely) but mostly becoming more or less American.

Now though, somehow this is a threat.  All these people that don't look like me, don't talk like me and don't dress like me, they're dangerous and scary.  And Coke is putting them in a commercial and goshdarnit Coke you gave me diabetus and made me require a Hoverround but I am quitting you over this.  For good.  Big KKK, er Big K is my drink of choice now.  Or Shasta.  Or a good American drink like Sam's Cola from them nice folks at Wal-mart (speaking of commercials to make you hurl....)

Get over it people.  America has always been, will always been, and SHOULD always be diverse!  And goodness, a multinational company selling things all over the world (including pretty much the only functioning factory in Somalia) is probably all about the diversity don't you think?  Oh, but that only applies elsewhere. Got it.

If you want to get annoyed about anything, get annoyed by the faux patriotism tied to every sporting event now.  I get it, most of the country is watching football (I love football), but there's nothing inherently patriotic about a sporting event no matter how many times we butcher the anthem, no matter how many flyovers we do, or how many times we show the troops in some far off country that don't need to be in watching the game at god knows what hour of the night instead of being home with their families watching it.

The Coke ad, which I found a bit sappy, was an accurate portrayal of America as it is now, as it has been and how it should and will be, regardless of how much you racist hillbillies want to pretend otherwise.

So, go buy your cheap beer brewed by a foreign company, purchase it at your local sprawlmart paying subhuman wages and importing everything possible from China, whine about how hard the white man has it in America and continue to believe giving more money to rich people and deporting everyone who doesn't learn English in a timely fashion is going to solve your problems.  You are the anachronism and you are the problem.  Not the person with the accent, the funny clothes or the different colored skin.