Transformers

"A needle in the eye." Yes, that is a bad play on their slogan. It is also what would be more pleasant than watching this movie.

Well, to be fair, I didn't actually see the whole movie because a little after an hour into it, and nothing of real importance to the plot happening, my wife and I gave up. Whoever signed off on this poorly written, poorly directed hunk of crap should be beaten with a stick.

I'll start with the big problem that my wife summed up best. The movie and its makers couldn't decide if they wanted to be a young adult/adult movie at PG-13 or a kids movie. So, they wrote a script for a kids movie and peppered it with swearing. The writing was awful. Painful even. And the poor actors, I just couldn't care about them. It wasn't their fault, there was nothing likeable about any of them. I just wanted them to die. Really. It would have been better had the evil cop car robot had killed the main kid and the movie ended.

They needed to make the movie PG. Clean up the swearing, drop the little bit of blood and make it a kids movie.

I don't remember the cartoon much. I remember enjoying it, but I don't want to go back and watch them and have childhood memories destroyed. But, they were after the kid because his great-grandfather's glasses still held the image or something? WHAT!?!? I mean, I wanted to watch this movie for fun, not because it was a good movie, but because it would be fun. And it wasn't fun. It was bad and dumb.

Lets get to the CGI right. Ok, the Transformers looked pretty. But, the action sequences were so fast, that I couldn't see what was going on. Maybe I'm getting old. I don't know, but I wanted big epic robot fighting (maybe it came later) not blazing fast ninja robot action.

And a final BLEAH on this movie. Why did the evil transformers transform? I mean, 1 of them took out a military base. So....if you're an evil powerful robot, why hide? Why not just blow the crap out of everything in sight? Details I suppose.

Sorry, but I hated this movie. Hated it. And am sad I rented it.